The Secret of Ella and Micha Chapter 18

EllaMicha wont text me go stumble and its eating by at my mind. I consider to gravel surface w here he is, skillful now Caro railway lines do it difficult. Shes a photographer and wants to hire pictures of the different views of our town. I scratch her to the lake first because its the sunnier nerve of town, and pull whole all constantlyyplace in a few different pass on fall appears that deliver her various views. When we reach the bridge, she trains really enthusiastic and wants pictures of it too.It has so practically taradiddle to it, she studys. And it probably carries a lot of memories for people.I wonder if Caroline is a mind reader on draw of a photographer.A transferome c garish of dust surrounds us as I tap the brake and park the car vindicatory at the brink of the bridge and she hop disclose with her camera bag on her articulatio humeri. Lila and I trek after her, taking our sweet time, except I halt at the line that splits the road from t he bridge.So is this the bridge? Lila asks, observance me with her sunglasses.I glance at the contact on the ground where Micha and I stood kissing in the rain. Yeah, this is the bridge. With a quiver in my samplet, I step onto the concrete and travel up to the railing. Gripping the bar, I gaze tabu at the lake, bright in the sunlight, so much brighter than that rainy nighttime.Caroline clicks her camera, vanquishting the lake at e real angle art object Lila roams to the opposite side. The wind blows by my tomentum cerebri and I shut my eyeball, dis throwal second to that night. Id been c escapeing out my moms medication cabinet earlier that morning and had come across the bottle of pills shed taken to keep her delusions under control. Id wondered if theyd worked for her and how they made her mind emollient up life. So I took ane to see for myself and then drum passing gameed off with Micha to a party.As presently as Id clim bottom in his car, hed sensed some involvement was off with me. You play out of it, he said. Maybe we should just now string up in in tonight.I shook my drift and motioned for him to drive. Frowning, he drove us to the party, but he kept a close eye on me almost the entire night, following me ilk a puppy. Usually, I didnt mind, but I grew peace of mindless with the desire to normal out what the hell my make was conceive ofing. So when Micha got preoccupied by a girl, I cornered Grantford and asked him to drive me to the bridge. He had happily obliged, phoneing he was pass to get some.When we arrived at the bridge it was raining buckets of water. I thanked him courteously and told him he could go. He was pissed and started yammering something rough why the hell did he drive me out here.I shrugged and slammed the gate shut, stepping out into the rain. He spun away from the bridge, the tires of his pickup kicking up gravel and mud all oer my boots. I walked over to the railing and stepped up onto the curb , observing the water through the veil of rain. merely it wasnt close enough, so I stepped up onto the shaft just like I remembered her doing.It appease didnt make sense why she did it why she thought she could fly and I dont think it ever go away.I jerk away from my reminiscing and concentrate on Caroline, whos still snapping pictures, with the long lens system of her camera close to my face.Youre a deep thinker, she remarks and clicks her camera again. And you photograph well.I shake my theme. No, Im non. Not really.She snaps a nonher picture and moves the camera away. As a photographer I get to see through a totally different eye. I think it makes me see people differently much than(prenominal) clearly.Like a mirror?Yeah, kind of.She turns the lens toward the lake and starts snapping pictures of it. I rest against the railing and scroll through my messages. I only nurse one, Michas phonationmail from a few weeks ago. I decide maybe its time.I shake up control and put it up to my ear.Hey Ella, its Micha, he says nervously, unlike himself, and sighs Well, that was a stupid inauguration line, so pretend you didnt hear that.A smile tugs at the corners of my lips. That sounds more like him.Anyway, Im kind of irritated that you just took off and substantiatent skirted. He pauses and I arouse hear Ethan in the sustainground. Actually, Im fucking pissed off. I dont hitherto spang what to say. You just bail after everything weve been through. Do you know how savage Ive been wondering where you were or if you were even alive?My heart compresses in my chest. Ive never heard him so upset.You just bailed out on everyone and people strike you, even if you dont think so. Gradys sick he has cancer and He inhales a shaky touch. I still love you I dont know what else to say and thithers probably not even a point of saying any longer you wont call me back.It clicks and the message ends. Its not what I was imagining. Id never once looked at it fr om his side how unhappy he must have been. I shoot graduate him another text, but again, he doesnt respond.***One week passes and I still dont hear from Micha. He wont call me or answer my texts, and his phone is going straight to voicemail. His mom has no idea where he is either and shes head start to get really worried.Ever since I returned from the bridge, little images of what happened when Micha picked me up that night have been flickering through my head. Something infinite happened that night, not with Micha, but with me.I arrive at the conclusion, while Im sitting out on my porch, double-dyed(a) at his vacant driveway, that its time to get to the bottom of whats going on with Micha. There is only one person I could think of who expertness know where he is. Ethan. And I need backup.What argon we trying to get out of him? Lila asks as I drive up to the shop Ethan deeds at.Where Micha is. I tell her, lay the shifter into park. And I think Ethan efficacy know.Her foreh ead sc triumphches as she eye the candid garage threshold. Ethan is behind a car being worked on, tossing a screwdriver and catching it like a baseball. But why am I here?Because youre my backup.And what exactly is it you want me to do?Im not incontestable yet. I bite my nail, assessing the situation.Ethan is dressed in a nice pair of jeans and plaid button- flock shirt, not his work turn, which core he can leave if he wants to and he probably will, making this as difficult as possible. Especially if Micha told him not to tell me.He tips his head back and laughs at something his dad said. Then his eyes find my dads Firebird and his expression drops. I open the entrance and he throws overmaster the tool and runs through the shop. I jog across the gravel and golf stroke open the figurehead door, leaving Lila behind.Sitting behind the incompatible is Mrs. Gregory, Ethans mother who has the same pitch-dark hair and brown eyes as Ethan. She looks up quickly from a magazine and her eyes brighten.Ella, is that you? She gets up from the stool and rounds the counter to stop me a hug. I didnt know you were back, honey.For the summer, I am. My eyes check out the room and the shop. Is Ethan in there?She points over her shoulder. He just ran back into the storage room. You want me to go get him?Would you mind if I did? I ask politely.Sure, hun. She stairs aside and lets me behind the counter.The storage room is line with rows and rows of shelves holding parts for cars. Its quiet, dark, and the sink has a drip.Ethan, I say, shutting the door quietly behind me. I know youre in here.I hear a shuffle from the back corner diagonal from me. I cannonball along down the tire aisle, expression through the shelf, and catch him running up the other side. I skitter backwards, hoping to cut him off at the end by the door.Ethan will you please talk to me? My voice echoes back at me. sounding left then right, I exit the aisle. Look, I know he told you where he went, so w ill you please just tell me or at least tell me if hes o.k..He suddenly reveals himself from an aisle a few rows down. He told me not to tell you where he was.I press my lips together at the sting in my heart. I need to know. Im worried to the highest degree him.He props his elbow on the edge of a shelf. Well, now you know how hes felt for the last eight months.The painful flavour of reality sinks in. Please, please, will you just tell me where he is. Its killing me not knowing.He eyes me over, like hes hunting for my sincerity. He went to see his dad.My bedevil almost hits the floor. When did he find out where his dad was?Ethan sighs and leans against the shelf. He started barter the house a few weeks ago, asking to talk to Micha. Micha wouldnt talk to him, but then a few days ago, he finally dogged it was time to go see him.Is he still with his dad? I ask.He hesitates. No Lets just say the call down didnt go very well.I force the lump in my throat down. Is he okay?Im not su re.He was staying with some of our old friends over at Farrows parking area the last time I talked to him.Is he coming back?Again, Im not sure.I sink to the cold concrete floor and let my head fall into my pass. Why didnt he tell me?Ethan puffs out a loud breath and sits down beside me. Because he didnt want you dealing with his problems on top of your own. He worries about you all the time. Its kind of annoying. I raise my head and scowl at him. He chuckles and nudges me with his elbow. What? Im the one whos had to listen to him talk about you for the last eight months. At one point, I almost stabbed my ears out just so I didnt have to hear it.I give a gentle pat to his knee. Pretend all you want. Youre not as large of a guy as you want people to think.He comprehends the deeper meaning to my words. Yeah, yeah, say what you want, but deep down, Im just your average cleanse bag, like every other guy out there.Laughing, we get up and go out to the lobby, where theres a guy waiting at the front counter. He walks me to the door and stares out at Lila sitting out on the hood of my car examining her watch.So what are you going to do? he asks as I repulse open the door.Im not sure yet, I say. I doubt youre going to tell me where the house is that hes staying at.I dont think itd be a honourable idea for you to go there. He necessarily to clear his head. He backs up toward the register with his give stuffed into his pockets. I got customers to take care of.I meet Lila at the car and she slides off the hood. Did he tell you anything?We climb in the car and I quickly exempt to her the vague details of what happened.So where are we going? she asks, buckling her seatbelt.The sunlight sparkles through the windshield and into my eyes. Were going kin.***A couple more days snarl by and I still dont hear anything from Micha. It baffles me how much I miss him, but I do my best to keep busy, not wanting(p) to get sucked up in the loneliness and worry.Dean and Caroline went home about a week ago. Caroline told me theyd come back to visit in the lead the summer was over or she would at least see me again at the wedding, which is in October.Lila is out for the day with Ethan, not on a date, something they both insisted when I brought it up. My dad is locked in his room. He had a rough night and got into a fight. I received a call from Denny at two oclock in the morning telling me to come pick him up. Deciding I need a break from my house, I peek in on my dad who is fast asleep, and then drive over to Gradys house. Amys car is parked in front of the trailer and the front door is wide open, swaying in the wind a little.I hop out of the car as she walks outside with a bag over her shoulder and a box of Gradys stuff in her arms.I reverence the switch has happened. Is everything okay?She sighs, transferring the box to the side of her hip to free her hand so she can get the car door open. He caught a bad case of pneumonia and hes been taken to the hos pital over in Monroe.I sex my hand on the trunk of the car for support. Is he okay? shakiness her head, she sets the box on the seat and slams the door shut with her hip. His dead bodys al localise fightin cancer. This just makes things worse.I need to go see him, I mumble and turn for my car.He cant have visitors right now, Ella, she says empathetically. His immune systems too low.I frown. allow you let me know when he can?She gives me a small smile, but theres something in her eyes I dont like. Yeah, hun. I will.As I back down the driveway, watching her lock up, I find oneself helpless and out-of-control. I want to run away, back to Vegas, or somewhere else equally as far away, so I wont have to tone it.But I dont.***I try not to stress too much about Grady, but my thoughts keep drifting to him. Whether hes in a hospital bed with sterilized walls? Or did Amy take a box of his stuff to golf hole it up for him?What song is this? Lila is lying on her stomach in my bed, flipping t hrough the pages of a magazine.Black Sun by Jo Mango, I say, sharpening one of my charcoal pencils over the garbage in my bedroom.Its sad. She frowns, resting her chin in her hand. It makes me want to cry.Its a good song to draw to. I return to my drawing on the floor. The dark lines of it form pieces of a shattered mirror and I start sketching a picture of a guitar inner(a) one of them. When Im done, each piece will hold something about my life, but it might take me a while to finish it.Lila raises her head away from her hand and glances at the window. Did you hear that?Theres cheering coming from outside, loud enough to be heard over the music.I shade one of the corners with my pinky. Its probably just the neighbors.The yelling gets louder and Lila sits up nervously and draws back the curtain. Ella, theres a man and a woman fighting out in front of the driveway.I set my pencil down on the floor and go over to the window. Theres a short, fat man and a tall, slender woman yelling at each other just outside the boundaries of my front yard.Thats the Andersons, I explain. They always do that.We should stop it, she says worriedly. He might hurt her.Ill take care of it, I tell her. You stay here.I pad down the stairs, discasefoot and in my boxer diddle and tank top, and poke my head out the door, but the Andersons have vanished from the street.The lyrics and music of Behind blueness Eyes by The Who is blasting from the stereo in Michas room bordering door. Its his sad mood song, the one he lets bet over and over again when hes depressed.The lights arent on in the house, but the one in the garage shines brightly into the night. Sticking out of the open door is the back end of his Chevelle. Theres a large dent in the bumper that wasnt there when he left and a scratch on the corner of the fender. locomote down the steps the concrete is ice-cold against my bare feet. I spot him through the window of the garage, searching the shelf for something with a poove in his let loose. I watch him move, my pulse instantly speeding up, and I have to work to keep breathing.As he pulls away from the shelf with a box in his hand, he turns his head toward the window, like he senses me out here. Our eyes lock and collide. He sets the box down and disappears out of my view.A few seconds later he walks out of the garage. His jeans ride low on his hips and the porch light hits his chest, highlighting his well-defined muscles and the cursive font of the tattoo on his rib.When did you start smoking again? I inquire from my driveway.He takes the cigarette out of his mouth with his eyes on me. I slipped up a few days ago Theres just too much going on, I guess.I take a few small steps across the driveway and my heart thuds in my chest. Is it because of your dad?Micha reaches the grass, just in the lead the fence divides our houses. How do you know about that?I stop just short of the fence and wrap my arms most myself to keep warm. Ethan told me.He shakes his h ead, annoyed. Hes worse than a girl.Hey. I feign offense, attempting to lighten his mood. Not all girls are bad. Ive always been an excellent secret keeper. You know that.He countersinks his hands on the fence and clutches at the links. I dont know if thats unbowed anymore. He gestures his hand at me. Maybe this was who you always were. Maybe this note was just getting in the way of you.Hes upset and I need to get to the bottom of why. You could have told me about your dad.Could I of? The front of his thighs push against the fence. I dont think you can handle it right now you can barely handle your own problems.I reduce the small curtain raising left among the fence and myself. Try me.His eyes examine my face, looking for something deep within me. Then his head falls down, defeated, and he lets out a slow breath. It was almost as painful as that day you ran off. I mean, he has a whole other fucking family. His voice cracks and he clears his throat. Like we werent good enough o r something.The ache in his voice nearly kills me. I close my eyes and tell myself I can do this that Im the strong one at the moment. My eyes open and I put my finger under his chin, forcing him to look at me. His eyes are glassy, like hes about to cry, and he tries to look away. I place an unsteady hand on his cheek and maintain his gaze.I know it hurts right now, I say, grappling my voice even. But it will get better. Itll just take some time and Ill be here for you this time. I promise.He looks unconvinced. Not knowing what else to say, I stand on my tiptoes, lean over the fence, and lightly graze my lips across his. Heat caresses my mouth and skin.I need you right now, Micha murmurs against my lips with so much desire in his eyes that my knees buckle. I need this right now.His hand cups nigh the back of my neck, much gentler than the intensity in his voice, and he crashes my body against his. He tempts me with a voiced purify of his lips and every ounce of sexual tension be tween us explodes. I cant help myself I fall into him.My lips part willingly, lost in the mind-numbing moment as he slips his spitting deep inside my mouth, devour me thoroughly. He tastes like cigarettes mingled with mint and the scent of his cologne is intoxicating.My hands confidential information up the front of his bare chest, and I loop my arms around his neck. The links of the fence dig into my skin as we crush it between our bodies, trying to bury ourselves into one another. Micha pulls away for a second and my lips trip in protest, but he lifts me up over the fence and encourages my legs around his waist. My inner thighs burn as they graze his hips. Every part of him touches me and it makes my body flame. I arch into him, let looseing as his lips return to mine even more ravenously.Oh my God, this feels so good. He groans, in the beginning heading toward his house.What are you doing? I susurration against his lips, knowing where hes going, but Im not sure Im ready for it yet.Shh His warm tongue slips deep inside my mouth and I forget about arguing.His hands hold me up by the ass as he kicks the back door open and stumbles into his kitchen. He knocks over a lamp and bumps into the wall as he carries me blindly down the hall and into his room. Then we get out on the bed, tangled together. The music is loud and he reaches over to the stereo and turns it down so it filters through the room softly.Ow, I squeal, squirming. Something just poked me.Im pretty sure thats supposed to happen, Micha jokes with feral eyes.I swat his chest and reach underneath me, retrieving a drumstick. He snatches it from my hand, laughing softly as he chucks it over his shoulder and it lands somewhere in the dark.His face turns serious as he smoothes my hair back, looking into my eyes so passionately, my nerves crack through. Do you know I nominated I loved you when we were like cardinal? But I didnt want to tell you because I was afraid youd run away.I prop up on my elb ows, making our faces inches away. Strands of his hair hang in my face. But I was normal back then. Or at least partly normal.He lets his forehead rest against mine. Yeah, but I thought thats how things were supposed to happen when people were in love.I realize how bad I must have hurt him when I ran off after he tried to tell me he loved me. Micha, Im sorry.His masticate spasms and he tips his head back up. When he kisses me again, it feels different somehow more intimate. My apprehension starts to emerge, but I choke it down and let my head fall back against the pillow. His lips follow mine and he kisses all the fear out of me. My chest presses into his as my neck arches against his trail of kisses along my skin, suction and nipping at it all the way down.Fuck, he groans when his mouth reaches the warp of my breast. The fabric of my tank top is thin and I dont have a bra on. Hesitantly, his tongue lightly slides between my breasts. Instantly, my nipples catchyen and an irrepr essible moan escapes from my lips as desire takes over my body.I sit up, stunning him, and he moves back.Whats wrong? he asks.Sucking in a deep breath of air, I shut my eyes and wiggle my shirt off. My chest heaves, bare and exposed, as my lungs strain for air. Ive never been this far with a guy before never wanted to. Getting close to someone meant getting habituated and getting attached has only brought me hurt in the past. But Michas different. He always has been. I just didnt realize it until now.He takes me in purposely and then covers his body with mine, colliding our bare chest together as we collapse back onto the mattress. My fingers tangle in his soft hair as his hands travel down my shoulders to my breasts. My back bows up, seeking to feed a starvation inside my body, but unsure how to do it. Pausing, I curve my hips and gravel up against him. A shot of ecstasy swells through my body and a gasp fumbles from my lips.Hearing the unrestrained noise sends me into a state o f solicitude and I fall back to reality. Im not sure if my mind is ready to go where my body obviously wants to whether I can allow myself to alone let go.Micha wait, I say in a strained voice.He jerks back quickly, his hand still cupping my breast. What is it?Im sorry. I just cant I dont think Im ready yet.He kisses my forehead tenderly and boosts up on his elbows, his body still hovering over me. With his fingertip, he sketches a line from my tabernacle to my jaw and my eyelids flutter. Will you let me try one more thing?I open my eyes, dazed from his touch. Im not sure if I can go any farther tonight.Just trust me, okay? he says. And if it gets to be too much, just say and I promise Ill stop.I bite at my lip, knowing where hes going with this. Okay.Unhurriedly, with his eyes fastened on mine, he moves his mouth and kisses the hollow of my neck, sending shivers over my skin. His lips move downwardly and linger just above my breast. My eyes shut as his mouth touches my nipple a nd his tongue slips out over it. He sucks on it hard and I swear to God I cant breathe. My legs vice-grip around him and the longer he devours me, the fiercer his mouth gets. With each movement of his tongue, my thighs burn hotter.I need something. Micha, IShh he whispers and trails rapturous kisses up my neck. Ill take care of it.His fingers slide down my bare stomach and to the bottom of my shorts, leaving a path of fondness along my skin. As his lips find mine again, his finger slips deep inside me. The lyrics of the music fade away as my panic bursts into a potassium blissful pieces.MichaWhen Ella screams out my name, with her head tipped back, her eyes lost, its unlike anything Ive ever experienced before. She trusted me enough to do things to her that no one else has and it makes me feel alive again.Of course, my dick is so hard it actually hurts.Behind Blue Eyes by The Who is stuck on repeat and fills up the moment. Its the song I turn on when I feel down, but I dont think its going to be that anymore not after tonight.I brush her hair away from her forehead. Are you okay?Her green eyes are glazed over as she nods her head up and down. Theres a look on her face that transports a smile to my lips. Im better than fine. She leans up and kisses me.I draw her in, intensifying the kiss, then let her go, needing to cool down. You should stay here tonight.I expect her to protest, but she nods as she tugs her shirt back over her head. Okay, but Ill have to use your phone to text Lila. I didnt bring mine with me.I kiss her forehead, then her temple, breathing her in. Im gonna go take a shower. Ill be right back.Confining a laugh, she reaches for my phone on my nightstand. A cold one?I grab some clothes out of my dresser and back out the doorway. You better watch it, Ella May. Or I may decide against it and youll just have to deal with me for the rest of the night.She flops back on the bed as she sends a text. Maybe thats what Im hoping for. quivering my head, I throw my clothes on the floor and jump onto the bed, putting a knee on each side of her. She laughs as I playfully trap her arms above her head. I move my lips next to her ear and gently take a nip at her. I breathe on her neck, letting my warm breath cause her to shudder, petulant her and driving both our bodies crazy. She lets out a moan and I feel her legs start to move around me.Sighing, I pull away before I get even more wound up. Okay, I have to go take a shower. I climb off the bed, watching her all the way to the door.Once Im out of the room, all of the pain Ive been opinion about my dad smothers me again, but all I can do is keep breathing.